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Top Ten Things NOT to Say on Your First Day

BY: admin | January 11, 2018





A new day.  A new job.  A new panic attack.

If you’re about to start a new job and are nervous about making a good first impression, you’ll be just fine as long as you just don’t say any of these things:

 

10. “I’m sorry that I overslept – I stayed up late binge-watching ‘Friends’.”

First impressions on the new job are long-lasting.  Don’t start out by making tardiness an unfortunate expectation.  Get plenty of rest and if you are running late, make sure your reason is valid.


 

9. “It was okay for me to double park in [insert Executive’s name] parking space, right?”

Unless you were hired to literally “run the place”, don’t walk in acting like you do.  Remember, respect is not given, it’s earned.


 

8. “Why is Facebook blocked on my computer?!”

While many companies do not allow social media sites to be accessed from their computers, do not consider this to be an affront.  Complete the job at hand so that you can have a stress-free evening of scrolling through pictures of your friend’s chicken carbonara.


 

7. “Is this Friday too early to cash in one of those vacation days?”

Even though you may have vacation time available right off the bat, consider holding off on using it.  An early vacation may make you appear to be either a slacker or irresponsible.


 

6. “Here’s my unprompted opinion on politics, religion, and flat earth…”

While it’s certainly possible to have a cordial conversation about these topics, there’s always the possibility that the tone could quickly turn combative.  Err on the side of caution and keep the conversation on the job on your first day.


 

5. “I know a great toupee guy who can help you out with your ‘situation’.”

Everybody has boundaries and it’s safe to assume that you won’t know what they are on your first day.  Imagine you’re meeting your significant other’s parents for the first time – if you wouldn’t say something to them, then don’t say it to your new co-worker.


 

4. “Oh, I’m sorry. There was no name on your leftover brisket, so I thought it was fair game.”

Food. Is. Precious. Don’t treat the office kitchen as your free-for-all buffet.  If you don’t know if something belongs to someone, all you have to do is ask.


 

3. “This is my jam! I CAME IN LIKE A WREEEEAAAKING BALL!”

Respect for other’s personal space also extends to their ears.  Be a good neighbor -don’t play any music too loudly and use your ‘inside voice’.


 

2. “Can I leave a little early? My cat has a strict feeding schedule.”

The first day on the job is not the day to leave work early.  Unless you have a legitimate reason to leave, try to be the last one in the office to set up good expectations for yourself.


 

1. “Yeah, this isn’t really working out.”

Sure, there are a handful of fine reasons to quit on your first day, but odds are that you probably won’t encounter any of them.  If you feel uneasy about your new job after your first day, see how you feel after your first week, month, or quarter – you may just have a change of heart.


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